Well here we are. It’s that time of the week again where we dive deep into the treacherous cesspool that we call the Internet with Weird Thursday. Last week went pretty well, I think, even though it was about genocide, I think we made some strides into further cementing Weird Thursday’s place as a reoccurring thing on my blog. But still, I’m not sure. We’ll try it again and see what happens.

Alright! Are you ready? Buckle up your goddamn seat belts…

Politics! Yay! Fuck it, right? I mean, we already covered Care Bears, immigration, and genocide, why not up the ante with politics…shit…alright! Well, let’s see. There are a lot of different angles I could go with this one. I think I’ll tackle the two-party system.

These days, pretty much everything that tries to get done in Washington (or in any state, for that mater) has no hope whatsoever of making an impact on the American people. Why? Gridlock. Nothing can get done because neither party wants to compromise with the other. We’re so polarized, so segregated in our beliefs, that we can’t even think that someone else might be right about something. This happens everywhere: work, schools, the streets where we drive. Everywhere.

I was having a conversation with a coworker the other day, and she was saying something to the effect that with her being in the middle, she feels like she has zero representation anymore. She’s not quite to the right, not quite to the left, she’s just there in this dead zone of politics. And that’s a scary place to be in a two-party society. It’s lonely in the middle.

And I feel the same. Me? I’m so far to the left that I don’t feel represented either. Which really blows. I don’t feel like anyone I can or would vote for would ever take my own personal beliefs to heart and do something I want them to do, just because they’re afraid of losing that middle-of-the-road vote.

But that’s where we stand in America right now – a two-party shit show with nowhere to go but down.

A wise man once warned us about getting into this mess.

“The disorders and miseries, which result (of a two-party system), gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of Public Liberty.”

You know who it was? George mother fucking Washington. He wasn’t talking about Republicans and Democrats, though. No, back then the argument was about Federalists and Anti-federalists. These two factions were arguing about much the same thing we are now – the size and role of the federal government and whether or not it should impose its rule onto the states.

You know who listened to him? I’ll give you a second to think back to your sophomore year history class. Any guesses?

No one. That’s who. Not a soul. We were faced with craziness from all sides for almost two and a half centuries. We’ve had the Federalists and Anti-federalists, the Whigs (not the band), the Socialist Party, the Communist Party, and the Pirate Party (not as fun as it sounds), just to name a few. And with all these separate parties and entities, we’ve ended up with the two major ones today – the Republicans and Democrats. Rather strangely, since their founding the two parties have done a complete 180 on their views, now representing the complete opposite of what their original founders believed.

Aside: If someone tries to tell you that the Republican Party of today is the party of Abraham Lincoln, don’t try to argue. Just politely nod your head and walk away. The same goes with ‘Democrats are the party of Andrew Jackson!’ Just pat them on the head and go ‘Awwww!’ 

Why have these two parties prevailed while the others have failed? Well, who’s to say. Maybe because they were the most centrist parties for the longest amount of time. See, human beings aren’t naturally polarized. We’re (usually) pretty rational. It’s only when propaganda and fear begin to be broadcast into our eyes, ears, and hearts 24/7 do we start to believe that everyone else is a complete and utter moron and we start going after each other.

It’s really interesting to see how dramatically the direction of our country has shifted in just the last 100 years. For a while there, we were going pretty solidly to the left. Like, legit socialism. If you don’t believe me or think I’m full of it, socialism is in the name of the program (Social Security), and Medicare is the largest government funded healthcare system in the world. We were doing so good, just like a modern, 20th century state should. But then…**shivers**

And ya know, Nixon wasn’t even that bad of a guy sometimes a little bit! He opened up trade relations with China. He even wanted to give out free money to people. But then the world got turned upside down. General John Mitchell once said “This country is going so far to the right that you won’t recognize it.” Which is happening and will continue to happen.

Do we really have to parties anymore? If you really think about it, what separates the Republicans from the Democrats? They’re both pro-war, they’re both pro-social security and medicare. They both take political donations from usually right-leaning organizations. They both are pro-getting more corporations involved in the government. It’s all just a right-wing shitstorm here in the good ol’ U.S. of A.

So if everyone else is moving to the far right, where does that leave the rest of us? I guess there’s only one way to combat extremism, and that’s with absolute indifference.

Wait, that won’t do anything.

TWO ways to combat extremism: absolute indifference and with opposite-forced extremism. And that’s what’s happening.

Slowly, people are starting to realize that, you know, maybe the far left had something right all along? You know, maybe universal healthcare is an attainable goal? Ya know, maybe if we quit going to war all over the place and wasting our money on murder, we could give our citizens things they want, like a not failing infrastructure and more affordable higher education?

I wish they’d quit calling it the ‘Democratic Socialist’ movement, though. That really bothers me. Just fucking call it what it is, guys. It’s socialism. It’s not the ‘Happy Happy Funtime’ Party. It’s the ‘Tax the shit out of people so you con provide them with services’ party.

Anyway, now I’m just ranting. What’ll happen the next election? Who knows?! That’s the fun of it.

Come back next week (maybe) for another installment of Weird (Insert whatever day of the week I feel like doing this on here)!