People Who Live in Glass Houses Shouldn’t…

Live in a glass house. Seriously, dude. Go buy a new house. Oh wait. You can’t because you wasted all your money on a glass house that no one wants to buy. I’m not an expert on real estate, but I’m pretty sure the market for glass houses isn’t doing too hot right now. I don’t know what possessed you to buy and then live in a glass house, but seriously. There are so many things wrong with this.

  1. It’s going to be hot as hell. You’re basically living in a giant greenhouse.
  2. You can’t do anything fun. You can’t do anything, period. You’re going to be a spectacle. People will come from miles around to see the dude who lives in a glass house and watch your every move. Your neighbors will constantly be peering in your windows…er…walls.
  3. I mean, you could paint the walls. That’s one way around it. Maybe a really bright white color would reflect some of the heat and wouldn’t let people see in, but imagine how often you’d have to clean your glass house. All the time. Then, after you clean it off, you’d have to repaint. Again. Again again and again. It would be a never ending cycle of painting your house.
  4. There’s no way for you to hang stuff. You’ll have bookshelves falling down constantly because you can’t screw them in. You could hang pictures, I guess, but that’s about it because those little sticky velcro things don’t have a high enough weight rating for anything over about five pounds. You’re screwed, man. Unless you’re an artist. Then you could just paint awesome stuff on your walls. But chances are you’re not…so…you can’t.
  5. The sound will be atrocious. Have you ever heard something inside a case of glass? Nope. You haven’t. Because it’s a terrible idea for sound design. I mean, if your entire goal in life is to get some super intense reverb, then a glass house seems like the place for you to be, but for everyone else in the world, if you’re looking for good sound, a glass house is not the place for you.

And that’s really just the start of it. What lesson did we learn here? Don’t live in a glass house. Don’t buy a glass house. Any homebuilders out there – don’t build a glass house. It just spells bad news for everyone.

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