Red Dead Redemption 2 Is Boring as Hell

Some of you may have played Red Dead Redemption 2. Some of you may have not. That’s okay. Honestly, it’s not a game for everyone, for multiple reasons. But mostly because Red Dead Redemption 2 is boring as fuck. Let me tell you why.

1) It takes forever to get places

To get from one side of the map to the other, it’ll probably take you around 45 minutes. To get from one quest to another takes about 10. Sometimes, your quest takes you across the entire map. And god help you if you haven’t read an article on how to unlock fast travel. Between you and your objective, there probably isn’t that much going on. A wild animal here or there, an abandoned house (maybe), or a stranger inviting you to come and set a spell, but that’s about it. It’s sooooo boring.

2)You walk so god damn slow

Arthur Morgan could get outrun by a Mark 1 tank. (For those of you who aren’t familiar with WWI British armory, the Mark 1 tank was the first tank ever put into production. It was notoriously slow, and often went slower than the troops that were walking alongside it.) And when you’re at your camp and not allowed to run, it makes getting from point a to point b a fucking nightmare. (See #1.)

3) Arthur Morgan aims guns like a three-year-old boy aims his dick when he pees

Anyone whose hat to clean up a bathroom after a young man (or an old man, for that matter), knows that they can’t aim for shit. Arthur Morgan cannot aim a gun worth a damn. And it’s not just me. It’s not just the fact that it’s on console. The game makes it very difficult to aim any weapon, whether you’re on horseback or on foot.

These three things, along with a myriad of others, make RDR2 a boring, laborious game to play.

And that’s what makes it wonderful.

Games aren’t hard anymore. Games aren’t laborious anymore. Games spoon feed you everything and treat you like a child learning skills for the first time. But not RDR2. It expects you to work for your fun. It doesn’t want to just give you everything you need piece by piece. Figure it out for yourself, jack! The wild west was an unforgiving place, and cowboys sure as hell didn’t just get everything they needed fed to them on a silver platter.

I can’t get over how good it is. Every bit of it. Horse-catching-on-fire glitches aside, it’s absolutely beautiful.

Have you fallen asleep while playing RDR2 yet? Do you roll your eyes when you see a quest marker 15 minutes away? Let me know how you feel about it in the comments.

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