You’d think that people who drink coffee would know how to make it, wouldn’t you? If you drink coffee regularly, there must come a point in your life where you actually have to make a fresh pot. But obviously this isn’t the case. For the last two days, I have come across an empty coffee pot in the break room of my office. After the initial anger subsided and I started brewing a fresh batch, I came to a sad realization: there must be someone out there who doesn’t know how to brew a fresh pot of coffee. Why else would they leave the pot empty if they knew how to make a new one?
“How sad,” I thought to myself, “that this poor caffeine addict must go through their life without knowing how to brew themselves more coffee when they’re out.”
That, my friends, is why I’m here today. I am going to lay it out, step by step, so that hopefully, by some divine intervention, that this person, whoever he or she may be, learns how to refill the coffee pot instead of leaving it empty.
Step 1) Realize there’s no more coffee.
This is probably the most difficult of the steps, to be honest. Nobody likes this step, but instead of being frowned at, this should be a joyous occasion. You get to brew a fresh pot for your, and everyone else’s, enjoyment.
Step 2) Ready the pot.
Whatever kind of pot you’re using, you’re probably going to have to get it ready for the brewing process. Whether it’s the long cylindrical ones like we have here with the hoses coming up to the top, or just a regular old coffee pot, you’ll want to make sure the jar is ready for the new, hot beverage. Remove the hoses, open up the jug, or just clean out the old container.
Step 3) Get the filter ready.
This is where it gets tricky. I know you might be tempted to put the coffee in first and then put the filter on top, but no. Contrary to popular belief, it actually works best when the coffee goes inside the coffee filter. Just set the large white sheet inside the brewing mechanism, open up the bag, and then pour the coffee on top of the filter so that the sides create a sort of barrier for the water to drip through as it slowly and sweetly caresses the grounds.
Step 4) Ready the machine.
Now that all the menial tasks are out of the way, you’ll want to set up the machine. There are many ways to do this, depending on what kind of coffee maker you have in your office or home. For the purposes of this blog, I’ll just lay out how to use ours.
Put the coffee holding mechanism with a fresh filter and ground coffee beans into the two slots below the water spout. Put the pot underneath it so that the hole from the mechanism sits directly above the hole on the pot. Yes. It’s really that simple.
Step 5) Push the ‘Brew’ button.
There’s a button. You push it. Don’t push it twice or it’ll brew two pots. That creates one hell of a mess. Push the button once, listen for the beep, and walk away.
And there you have it! In no time at all, you’ll have a fresh pot of liquid gold for everyone to enjoy. I hope this was educational for you, you poor soul who obviously doesn’t know how to make a new pot of coffee when the old one is out. And if my passive aggression and sarcasm are lost to you, then I pity you even more.