It’s the time of the year for changing leaves, for cooling weather, and candy corn. Ah yes, candy corn. This little orange, yellow, and white triangle sure sparks a lot of debate, but love them or hate them, everyone has their own idea of how you should properly eat them.
Well, I’m here today to tell you that yes, there is in fact a correct way to eat candy corn. Are you ready? Have you braced yourself? Good.
The correct way to eat candy corn is…
Just eat it. Put it in your mouth, chew, swallow, repeat. C’mon, guys. I know people swear that the different colors taste differently, and sure, if you’re a super taster, then maybe, maybe you have a slight ability to taste the difference in dyes, but to the other 99.9% of the world, they taste exactly the same.
I used to be an yellower. That’s the name I’ve given to those who think that you should start with the yellow part first. Then, I switched to a … I can’t call them ‘whiters’, can I? That sounds like a powerful white supremacist prison gang. Whatever the term, I used to be one of them, too. Not a member of a white supremacist prison gang, but a person who eats the white part first. I liked doing that because you have the biggest part of the candy saved for last.
But then I asked myself “Why am I putting so much effort into eating a piece of candy when I could easily just put the whole thing in my mouth at once and eat it?”
This is a fantastic question, and one that changed the way I ate candy corn forever.
Whatever your preference, whether you’re an oranger, whiter (I still don’t like that term), or you don’t eat candy corn, eat it however you want to. But the only truly correct way to eat candy corn is by eating it all at once. That way you get the full enjoyment of all three flavors at once instead of taking your time eating it bit by bit.
And honestly, we all know that the little orange pumpkin candy corns are a thousand times better than candy corn itself.
Let the angry comments ensue.