Every year video game publishers, developers, tech companies, and nerds gather for the E3 conference. It’s a massive event where new tech is unveiled, new games are shown, and people get really, really disappointed. This year’s conference had a lot of all three, so let’s take a look at the last week and see what we have to look forward to, and what we have to be sad about.

Sony

I have a lot of fond memories playing Spider-Man II on the PS2. I think everyone does. It’s one of those games that, whenever someone comes out with a new game in the series, players say “I really hope it’s as good as Spider-Man II.” I haven’t played it in God knows how long, and I’m sure it doesn’t hold up as well as I or anyone else in the world remembers it, but still. It’s the memory and the principal of the thing. And the new Spider-Man game actually looks like it might hold up. But we’ll have to wait until 2018 to see.

Days Gone just looks plain bad ass. To me, it kind of feels like a knock off of The Last of Us. But instead of fungus-infested humans, the enemies are zombies. And oh boy are there zombies. In the original trailer from last year, there were hundreds of bodies on the screen at a time, all chasing down the protagonist. My PS4 has problems running mods for Fallout 4. How on Earth is it going to render 200 bodies all moving at once?! Regardless, I’m super psyched for this game.

 

Microsoft

Microsoft Microsoft… You’re slowly coming back to win the console war of my heart. Microsoft unveiled a lot of new games at this year’s conference, most notably, for me at least, is PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds. This ‘Battle Royale’ style shooter is coming exclusively to X Box One this fall. I really thought this was going to be another one of those ‘We’re just gonna make this and leave it here’ kind of games – the ones that get put out in early access and then never patched or updated. But sure enough, here it comes to console. Too. Cool.

They’re also working on cross-platform play for a number of their games like Minecraft and Rocket League, something that really should’ve been worked on a lot sooner in my opinion, but who am I to tell companies what to do. (I’m looking at you, Sony.)

And then there’s Cuphead. Finally.

But then they go and do something stupid like the X Box One X. This has been in the works for a while now, but I really just… I don’t get it. It’s the same thing as the X Box One, but it’s better? But it’s the same? Like it’ll play the same games? So then why would I go out and but a One X when a One costs about 60% less and will do the exact same stuff the new console will? It’s just like the PS4 Pro. I don’t understand it. And it’s $500. That’s right. $500. So good luck with that, guys. Stick with slimming down old consoles before coming out with new ones. Us console gamers are a fickle bunch, and dropping $500 on the exact same console right after we just bought one three years ago isn’t really going to do it for us.

EA

Battlefront II. They better not screw this up like they did the first one. They better not…

Anthem looks cool, I guess? I’m getting kind of a Titanfall meets Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare meets Halo vibe from this one. There’s an exosuit/skeleton thing? I have a feeling it’s going to be more of a gimmick than a game, but we’ll see.

Ubisoft

Ubisoft announced Skull and Bones, a pirate ship fighting game based off of the fighting in Assassins Creed: Unity. Which I heard (I didn’t actually play it) was a very cool mechanic. I’m really psyched to see more about this game in the upcoming months. Do you get to create your own ship? Do you get to create a pirate? Do you get to work your way up from deckhand to captain? These are the questions that need answers!!

And then there’s Far Cry 5… I’m gonna get it. I mean, I have to because it looks bad ass. But I really don’t know how to feel about this. I played 3, loved it. I skipped over 4 because it looked like a reskinned 3 (which it was). I played Primal, and then I kind of realized that each Far Cry game is just a flashier remake of the last one. It’s all the same game, same objectives, same basic gameplay, etc., just different mechanics and tools. We’ll see. But it does look pretty damn cool.

 

Bethesda

And now we get to the part of E3 that I was actually looking forward to… Bethesda’s conference. Bethesda had never done an E3 before two years ago. I remember because that’s why the announcement of Fallout 4 was such a big deal. But, of course, they have to continue living up to the hype. But this year was just a big disappointment.

They announced two new versions of Skyrim, which the world definitely needs more of: one for VR and one for the Nintendo Switch. They announced their VR version of Fallout 4, slated for release this fall. They also announced a VR Doom aptly named ‘Doom: VFR,’ which is fun, sure, but… please. Just… Okay?

We get it. Skyrim was a great game, but this will now be the fourth, yes, the fourth time that Skyrim has been released. It came out six years ago. We don’t need more of the same. We need something new. If they took all the energy they put into making a remaster, VR version, and a Switch version, then we’d already have another Elder Scrolls already.

And then there’s Fallout 4 VR. It looks cool, yes, and it’s a very neat concept, but how exactly is it supposed to work? I mean, the fact that you’ve completely revamped the VATS skill totally nullifies about 30% of the skill tree. So … what’s the deal with that? How’s it supposed to work? Please?

Just stop remaking games. Stop putting out new versions of old games. It hasn’t been long enough for us to need to reminisce. I can still put in Skyrim on my 360 and play it. I don’t need it for my PS4. It’s okay to come to E3 with only one or two cool things. You don’t have to try to wow us every single year. We know you’re tiny. We know you don’t have the manpower of Ubi and EA. Just you be you.

But then came the cherry on top… The gigantic shit cherry that ruined the rest of the really crappy announcements Bethesda decided to make… The Bethesda Creation Club. You tried paid mods before, guys. It didn’t work out. Don’t wrap a turd in tinfoil and tell me it’s an ear ring. That’s not how this goes.

You can’t just change the name of your crappy paid mod service and everything’s okay. You say that you guys make your games, but that they’re finished by the community of modders that love them and continue to mess with them for years to come after they’re released. I do think it’s cool that you’re giving some modders the opportunity to get paid for their work, because some of them spend a lot of time putting these things together. But some of them want to just do it for free. Some of them want to give people joy for free. Just let it happen. Don’t slowly start to tighten the noose around the neck of your so-called ‘coveted’ mod community. Just let them do their own thing or they’re going to be pissed.

The new Dishonored expansion/standalone/DLC looks pretty cool, and even though I’ve never played the modern Wolfenstein games, I’m actually considering going out and buying the last two just so I can be up to date when the new one comes out. But Bethesda… you let me down, man… You really let me down on this one. There better be some good stuff coming next year, and no, I don’t mean Skyrim for spoons.

 

And that was about the same for the most of the conference. I wasn’t impressed. Intrigued, sure, but impressed? Not quite. Hopefully that all changes in the next couple months when we start to get some more info on these games.